Well, today was the day I have been dreading since Emma's birth. I went back to work!! The first day home from the hospital I remember sitting on my bed crying to my mom about going back into the work force in 9 weeks. She hugged me and told me not to worry about that right now but instead just enjoy the time I did have at home and love on Emma tons.
Last night however I started to panic! What am I thinking, no one can hug her like I can! No one can make her smile like I can! No one can change her diapers with as much care as I can! No one else knows what songs I sing to her to help her sleep! No one else knows her different cries for different needs! What am I going to do?!?!?
I read this excerpt from "The Girlfriends Guide to Surviving the First Year of Motherhood" and it perfectly described my thoughts this past week.
"There are many considerations that you didn't know existed when you were pregnant. How could you ever have imagined the adoration you would feel for your baby and how emotionally and physically painful it is to be separated from her? It's an entirely unique sense of interdependence. You could never have anticipated the effects of sleep deprivation in your life: How it makes you stupid, foul-tempered and addicted to sugary snacks. Then there is the breast-feeding aspect: you may have finally mastered it and are actually enjoying it, and now you have to face the prospect of spending much of your time bonding with an electric breast pump in the ladies' room instead of cooing over your baby as she suckles. And where in the world does someone find loving, responsible and affordable child care? The prospect of leaving your baby, the core of your existence, in the care of someone other than yourself is terrifying, even if Daddy is the one who becomes her caregiver.
About half of all mothers return to work within the first year after giving birth, and another big chunk will return when the child is old enough for nursery school or kindergarten, so you know it can be done. Not only can it be done, it can actually be fulfilling and an essential part of your life, but we girlfriends feels it's our duty to tell you:
IN THE BEGINNING, GOING BACK TO WORK WILL NEARLY KILL YOU!"
I think that pretty much sums up my thoughts and feelings of the day. Glad tomorrow is a new one! :)
Charles working in the O.R. as a medical student.
Well, I survived my first two weeks back to work! At the end of the first week I had to go to St. Louis for a distributor show and was gone for three days. Mom and dad came to stay with Charles and Emma so they could help out. I am glad they came because Charles had to work on Saturday and Emma was sick so having them at home to help was a weight lifted off my shoulders. Mom said they had good bonding time and when I got home Emma would only smile when Gabby talked to her. :) Then on Thursday of last week Charles' parents, sister and nephews came to spend a few days of there spring break with us. We had a good time relaxing in our PJ's and eating Pappy's chili! When they all left Charles, Emma and I spent Saturday night cuddled up together grateful for such a sweet and loving family! Here are a few cute pictures from this past week.
