Julie & Julia and "The Katie Project"

Charles took Emma this afternoon so I could go to a movie and I am so happy he did because I LOVED it!! Julie and Julia was so sweet, charming and makes me want to be a more positive and happy person like Julia Child was in this movie! It also made me reflect on my way home...
Since having Emma I have thrown myself 100% into being a full time mom. I even quit my job with TIGI to stay home with her so I could be with her day and night teaching her things, reading her stories, taking her for walks, feeding her, giving her squishy little body baths, and tucking her into bed each night. It has been a joy and something I will never regret doing. It is a thankless job however, one that doesn't come with raises, bonuses, or pats on the back from your boss but sloppy kisses and giggles from your sweet baby. No longer do I need to buy high heels and cute dresses because Emma doesn't care what I look like as long as I am playing in the floor with her and making funny faces. If I am being completely honest though I have my moments (OK, lots of moments) when I feel like I am doing a terrible job and dare I say it... even regret quitting my job. Most days I feel so overwhelmed with the feedings, the cleaning, the cooking and the kid babble that I could go crazy from it all! I feel guilty for writing this because all I have ever wanted in life was to have a family and raise my babies. What is wrong with me?
I know it seems random for me to be having all of these thoughts after watching a movie that has nothing to do with mommy guilt or raising a family but it did show me a glimpse into a woman's life who was positive and a go-getter. She didn't cry often or waste much time feeling sorry for herself but tried to make the best out of everything life offered. SO, with that sentiment, I want to be better! (let's call it the "Katie Project") First, and the top of the list, I want a stronger relationship with Christ. My biggest fear is that I will fail miserably in teaching my child (and future children) what having a relationship with Christ is all about and why it is so important. I don't care if my children are attractive or are the most popular. I don't care what career path they take in life but I do want them to have good hearts, love God above all others and through their actions bring others to his kingdom. I realize the best way to do this is be that kind of example. Charles and I have to step up to the plate and be that for our children or I fear what will happen... Second, I want to lose weight and feel more confident in my skin. Having Emma was a beautiful moment but what it has done to my body... not so beautiful. My goal is to be the weight I was before Emma by the time I get pregnant with baby #2. And in the spirit of not feeling sorry for myself I won't talk about how looking in the mirror these days makes me want to cry or how I don't want my husband to see me naked or how walking Emma around the block causes me to lose my breath! I want to be in shape and create a healthy, active home for my family. I want Emma to love outside play and vegetables and healthy snacks. I worry that I will continue to stuff my face and not do anything about it and in 10 years not recognize myself in pictures! Third, I want to be a better homemaker. I realize my hubby works very hard outside the home and is so tired at the end of each day. Somehow, now that I am staying at home my house is more dirty and out of sorts than when I was working. I need to find a system that works for me while not obsessing over it. I want to cook more. I love to cook and find a lot of joy in the whole process but with a baby it is a hard thing to do. So, again I need to get organized and plan our weekly meals and just do it already. I think this would really make Charles feel loved and cared for at the end of a long day. Fourth, I want to be a better friend while creating new friendships. I want to write more encouraging notes, be a better listener and be better about telling my friends how special I think they are. I want to develop new friendships with people around me and invite those people to do things instead of always waiting on an invite. I want to open my home up for play dates and dinners and get to know people on a deeper level.
So, I realize this is a big undertaking but I feel ready! I have my goals and my only choice at this point is to push through and be a better me in the end. I am not giving myself a deadline like in the movie because I know I will be a work in progress until the day God calls me home.