Monday, March 9, 2009

Going Back to work


Well, today was the day I have been dreading since Emma's birth. I went back to work!! The first day home from the hospital I remember sitting on my bed crying to my mom about going back into the work force in 9 weeks. She hugged me and told me not to worry about that right now but instead just enjoy the time I did have at home and love on Emma tons.


Last night however I started to panic! What am I thinking, no one can hug her like I can! No one can make her smile like I can! No one can change her diapers with as much care as I can! No one else knows what songs I sing to her to help her sleep! No one else knows her different cries for different needs! What am I going to do?!?!?


I read this excerpt from "The Girlfriends Guide to Surviving the First Year of Motherhood" and it perfectly described my thoughts this past week.

"There are many considerations that you didn't know existed when you were pregnant. How could you ever have imagined the adoration you would feel for your baby and how emotionally and physically painful it is to be separated from her? It's an entirely unique sense of interdependence. You could never have anticipated the effects of sleep deprivation in your life: How it makes you stupid, foul-tempered and addicted to sugary snacks. Then there is the breast-feeding aspect: you may have finally mastered it and are actually enjoying it, and now you have to face the prospect of spending much of your time bonding with an electric breast pump in the ladies' room instead of cooing over your baby as she suckles. And where in the world does someone find loving, responsible and affordable child care? The prospect of leaving your baby, the core of your existence, in the care of someone other than yourself is terrifying, even if Daddy is the one who becomes her caregiver.

About half of all mothers return to work within the first year after giving birth, and another big chunk will return when the child is old enough for nursery school or kindergarten, so you know it can be done. Not only can it be done, it can actually be fulfilling and an essential part of your life, but we girlfriends feels it's our duty to tell you:

IN THE BEGINNING, GOING BACK TO WORK WILL NEARLY KILL YOU!"


I think that pretty much sums up my thoughts and feelings of the day. Glad tomorrow is a new one! :)


12 comments:

Becky said...

It breaks my heart you have to go back to work! I know someday you will be a stay at home mom...but I sure wish you could now. OR...I wish her Gabby could keep her! I love you....hugs and kisses

Elizabeth Mullins said...

Hang in there girl! I know you are doing the best you can...just know that your precious Emma only has one Momma that does everything just right for her and she will ALWAYS know that!

Jerilynn said...

Good Luck Katie - it will all work out. Many times your baby's life is greatly enriched by other people that get to love and keep them. I will say lots of prayers for that to be the case for sweet Emma!

Tricia said...

Was it awesome to see her last night? Was it any better today? I love you and I am still staying a little prayer for you. Call me again if you need me!

Jill said...

I dread that day too Katie! I can't imagine what it will be like. I am lucky to have Jerilynn to keep Campbell for me, but it will be hard to be away from him all day. I am sending a prayer your way in hopes that each day will get better!

Connie said...

The one thing, we as Mothers, have in common is that we feel like no one is capable of giving the same unconditional loving care to our children as we do. That is with the exception of their grandmothers!! This is the first of many times you will entrust her care to others, her first day of school, church camps, her first sleepover, and you will always, on those first times, wish you were home together. That's what makes you a good mommie!!!

Randi Freeby said...

I am praying for you. I cannot imagine. You are a wonderful mother.

JBailey said...

What a great mom!!!! We're praying for y'all... God will work it out! :)

Molly said...

Katie, I hope you're doing ok..it is hard to leave your baby with someone else, but Emma knows her momma loves her very much and she'll be alright. I'm prayin' for ya..

Corbin and Amy said...

ohhh...How hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope this past week hasn't been too horrible for you. I can't believe how fast the time has flown by. I'm sure it was faster for you:) You sound like such a wonderful mother. I hope I'm as good as you are!

Anonymous said...

She will still love her Momma the most! You can count on that!!! I love you cousin and will pray for your strength!

Jennifer said...

Just reading this and I know you've been back a couple of weeks. I don't have any words of advice...ha! But, I do think you should come visit your mom again soon so we can see you!!!